Her obsessive yearning starts to set in, making her nerve endings tingle throughout her body. The thought of his fingers tracing her inner thigh to his finger swirling between her legs, making her swell in ecstasy.
She wants more of him the closer they become. His eyes looking into hers makes her stomach aflutter with the promise of another night together.
Twenty one days being “locked” at home together sounded like the perfect opportunity to talk and taste each other. She thought this until it started. Social distancing followed them into the house and their bedroom. She felt more alone than ever before; still asking to be heard and loved.
She keeps asking herself, “How can a man not feel like being intimate at all?”
They are in the last two weeks of the lock down and she sits in front of the mirror contemplating their future, his future and her future. Can she live like this any longer? Does she deserve more? Is she truly happy?
A tear appears at the corner of her eye as the time experienced together confuses her. How can she still love someone while still feeling unattractive, unwanted and undesired?
She returns to their bed, closes her eyes and feeling his breath on her neck. His hands wrap around her, holding her body like his trying to keep her heart in with his heart beating in time with hers.
She opens her eyes again, asking her herself silently, “Is this what I want?”
Her straightened back hunches over while she tries to picture life without him. Can she live without him? Can she allow another woman have his heart?
More questions swirl in her mind like a tornado…..will he even miss me if I go? Does he love me as much as I love him?
She can feel her eyes swell as the tears fall in the dark. She remembers how they used to be. Late night messages, intense intimacy when together….the things he used to say to her…..where did he go?
Her heart sinks to the pit of her stomach. The war of love and loneliness rages around her head and heart. Even in her thoughts, she is still alone. Should he tell him? Will it make a difference? Would it even matter to him?
Unable to stand lying next to him, listening to him sleep peaceful, while she cries in her silent darkness, she stands in the middle of her war and walks out the door with a smile on her face, still wearing her heart on her sleeve.